Blaze Setter Chronicles

The Answers You May Never Get

10 hours ago

7 min read

Key Scripture: Deuteronomy 29:29 KJV

“The secret things belong unto the LORD our God: but those things which are revealed belong unto us and to our children for ever, that we may do all the words of this law.”

What Do You Do When the Question Remains?

There are some questions that do not disappear simply because time has passed.

You can continue living.

You can move forward.

You can forgive.

You can grow spiritually.

You can enter another season of life.

And still, somewhere in your heart, there is a question you have never been able to answer.

Why did that person make that decision?

Why did the relationship end the way it did?

Why did someone who claimed to love me treat me that way?

Why did things change so suddenly?

Why was a particular prayer not answered the way I expected?

Why did God allow something I still do not understand?

Beloved, let's talk.

What happens when life moves forward, but the question remains?

We are accustomed to believing that every difficult experience should eventually make sense.

We want the explanation.

We want the missing conversation.

We want the person responsible to acknowledge what happened.

We want clarity about why God allowed a particular circumstance.

And sometimes, we receive those answers.

But sometimes, we do not.

One of the difficult lessons of spiritual maturity is learning that we can remain faithful to God without possessing every explanation we desire.

That does not mean our questions are insignificant.

It means we must learn how to live responsibly with what is known while acknowledging what remains unknown.

1. Not Everything Hidden Has Been Revealed to Us

Our key scripture comes from Moses' instruction to Israel.

Deuteronomy 29:29 KJV says:

“The secret things belong unto the LORD our God: but those things which are revealed belong unto us and to our children for ever, that we may do all the words of this law.”

Moses distinguished between what belonged to God's hidden knowledge and what He had already revealed for His people to obey.

The emphasis was not that people should stop thinking or asking questions.

It was that they were responsible for responding to what God had made known.

There are matters beyond our understanding.

And we must be careful not to confuse our desire for an explanation with actual knowledge.

Some believers feel compelled to explain every tragedy, delay, disappointment, or unanswered prayer.

They may confidently declare:

“God allowed that because…”

“That person came back because…”

“This happened so God could…”

But unless we have sufficient reason to know those things, we must be careful.

Wanting an answer does not give us permission to invent one.

Spiritual maturity includes knowing when to say, “I do not know.”

There is humility in that statement.

There is integrity in that statement.

And sometimes there is freedom in refusing to build a conclusion on speculation.

2. Some Questions Are Connected to Grief

Not every unanswered question is simply intellectual curiosity.

Some questions are connected to love.

Some are connected to betrayal.

Some are connected to loss.

Some are connected to disappointment.

And some are connected to the painful reality that we may never fully understand another person's intentions.

When someone dies, relationships change, opportunities disappear, or circumstances take an unexpected turn, the mind naturally searches for explanations.

We replay conversations.

We revisit decisions.

We question what we missed.

We wonder whether we could have changed the outcome.

And sometimes we keep returning to the same question because receiving an answer feels as though it might reduce the pain.

But an answer and healing are not always the same thing.

You can receive an explanation and still need to grieve.

You can obtain clarity and still need time to process.

And sometimes you may need to begin healing without ever receiving the apology, conversation, or explanation you hoped for.

That is difficult.

We do not need to minimize how difficult it can be.

3. Be Careful About Creating Certainty Where There Is None

There is a difference between facts and assumptions.

Facts are things we can reasonably establish.

Assumptions are conclusions we draw, sometimes from incomplete information.

When our hearts are hurting, assumptions can begin to sound like certainty.

We may decide we know exactly what someone meant.

We may convince ourselves that we understand why a person behaved a certain way.

We may decide that God's silence means He has rejected us or refused to hear us.

But we must examine those conclusions carefully.

Psalm 131:1–2 KJV presents a picture of humility and a quieted soul before God.

David acknowledges that he will not occupy himself with matters too great for him.

That is not an invitation to abandon reason or responsibility.

It is a reminder that we do not possess unlimited knowledge.

Sometimes peace begins when we stop requiring ourselves to explain everything.

We can acknowledge what happened.

We can identify what remains uncertain.

And we can refuse to give our assumptions authority they have not earned.

4. Trusting God Does Not Mean Ignoring Practical Responsibility

Now, I want to make something clear.

Accepting that some answers may remain unavailable does not mean we abandon reasonable efforts to discover the truth.

If records need reviewing, review them.

If an appropriate conversation can clarify something, consider having it.

If a legal matter requires attention, seek qualified guidance.

If health concerns require investigation, continue working with appropriate medical professionals.

If a situation involves danger or misconduct, take responsible protective steps.

Faith is not an excuse to neglect available information.

But we must distinguish responsible investigation from endless emotional searching.

One seeks information that may reasonably be obtained.

The other may keep us trapped in possibilities that cannot be verified.

James 1:5 KJV says:

“If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.”

Ask God for wisdom concerning what is yours to do.

You may not receive an explanation for every event, but you can still seek wisdom for the decisions before you.

5. Closure Does Not Always Arrive in the Form You Expected

Sometimes closure comes through an honest conversation.

Sometimes it comes through documentation, accountability, or a clearer understanding.

But sometimes closure involves accepting that you have reached the limits of what can be known.

You may never hear the words you wanted someone to say.

You may never know their complete motives.

You may never understand why a particular circumstance unfolded the way it did.

That does not mean your experience was unimportant.

And it does not mean you must pretend to be unaffected.

It means you may eventually have to make decisions without waiting for information that may never

come.

You can establish boundaries.

You can seek support.

You can make peace with uncertainty without declaring the situation good.

You can grieve what you do not understand.

And you can continue living without allowing one unanswered question to govern every part of your life.

6. Let What God Has Revealed Guide Your Next Step

Perhaps you do not know why someone mistreated you.

But you can learn to recognize unhealthy behavior.

Perhaps you do not know why a door closed.

But you can assess the opportunities that remain.

Perhaps you cannot explain a painful loss.

But you can allow yourself to grieve and receive support.

Perhaps you still have questions about God's purposes.

But you can continue learning His Word and living according to what He has revealed.

Do not allow the absence of one answer to erase everything you already know about faithfulness,

truth, wisdom, and responsibility.

Beloved, some questions may travel with us longer than we expected.

That does not mean they must determine our future.

You can acknowledge the unanswered question without allowing it to become the only story you tell about your life.

Reflection Questions

What unanswered question continues to occupy my thoughts?
Which parts of this situation are confirmed facts, and which parts are assumptions?
Am I seeking information that can reasonably be obtained, or repeatedly searching for certainty that may not be available?
What emotions or grief have I been avoiding while looking for an explanation?
What responsible decision can I make even if this question remains unanswered?

This Week's Heart Work

Divide a journal page into three sections.

What I Know: Record only the facts you can reasonably establish.

What I Do Not Know: Write the unanswered questions without supplying guesses.

What Is Mine to Do: Identify actions within your responsibility, such as prayer, seeking support, establishing a boundary, reviewing information, or accepting a reasonable limit.

Pray over the third section and choose one practical next step.

Faith Declaration

I will not mistake speculation for revelation. I can acknowledge unanswered questions without

allowing them to rule my life. I will seek truth, ask God for wisdom, remain faithful to what He has revealed, and make responsible decisions with the knowledge I possess.

Closing Prayer

Father, in the name of Jesus, You know the questions I carry, including the ones I have struggled to speak aloud.

You know the disappointments, losses, conversations, and experiences I continue trying to understand.

Help me distinguish what is known from what I have assumed. Give me wisdom to seek information responsibly and humility to acknowledge when an explanation remains beyond my reach.

Lord, where my questions are connected to grief, help me face that grief honestly. Where I need support, give me courage to receive it. Where boundaries or practical action are necessary, help me respond wisely.

Guard me against constructing conclusions simply because uncertainty is uncomfortable.

Teach me to trust You without pretending that every difficult experience makes sense to me.

Help me remain faithful to the responsibilities and truth You have already made clear.

And when old questions return, remind me that I can bring them before You without allowing them to control my life.

In Jesus' name, amen.

Let's Talk

Have you ever had to continue moving forward without receiving an explanation you deeply wanted?

What has helped you maintain your faith and make responsible decisions while living with uncertainty?

Share only what you feel comfortable discussing publicly.

This blog post, including all written content, teachings, reflections, prayers, declarations, images, graphics, and related materials, is the intellectual property of Tressa L. Ruffin and God’s Blaze Setter unless otherwise stated. No part may be copied, reproduced, republished, distributed, modified, or used without prior written permission. Brief excerpts may be shared for encouragement or educational purposes with proper credit and a direct link to the original post.

Thankful, But Not Pretending

Tressa Ruffin

4 days ago

6 min read

Key Scripture:

1 Thessalonians 5:18 KJV

“In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.”

You Can Be Grateful and Still Be Disappointed

Can I say something that may help somebody breathe a little easier today?

You do not have to pretend that everything is wonderful in order to be thankful to God.

Yes, I said it.

You can be thankful and tired.

You can be thankful and grieving.

You can be thankful and disappointed.

You can be thankful while waiting for a prayer to be answered.

You can appreciate the people who are present while grieving the absence of someone you love.

And you can genuinely recognize God's goodness while acknowledging that some parts of this year have been extremely difficult.

As we move into November, gratitude becomes a popular conversation.

We hear messages about counting our blessings, appreciating what we have, and focusing on the positive.

There is value in those reminders.

But somewhere along the way, many believers have been taught to treat honest emotions as though they are evidence of insufficient faith.

We feel pressure to say everything is fine.

We feel guilty for admitting disappointment.

We hesitate to discuss grief because somebody may respond by reminding us how blessed we are.

But beloved, gratitude and honesty are not enemies.

God is not asking you to perform happiness.

He is inviting you into a relationship where your thanksgiving and your tears can both be brought before Him.

1. Scripture Calls Us to Give Thanks in Everything

Let's look carefully at our key scripture.

1 Thessalonians 5:18 KJV:

“In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.”

Notice Paul's language.

He says, “In every thing give thanks.”

He does not tell us that everything we experience is good.

He does not instruct us to celebrate injustice, abuse, betrayal, sickness, or death as though those experiences are inherently wonderful.

Instead, he calls believers to maintain a thankful posture before God within the realities they experience.

This instruction appears alongside Paul's encouragement to rejoice, pray, pursue what is good, and remain spiritually alert.

It describes a life of ongoing dependence upon God.

There is a difference between thanking God because something painful happened and thanking

Him while we are walking through something painful.

We do not have to call suffering good in order to acknowledge that God remains worthy of our trust.

That distinction matters.

2. God Can Handle Your Honest Emotions

Sometimes we approach prayer as though we must first organize our emotions into something more acceptable.

We try to sound strong.

We try to use the right words.

We avoid telling God how disappointed we actually feel.

But He already knows.

The Psalms repeatedly show people bringing real emotions into God's presence.

Consider Psalm 13:1 KJV:

“How long wilt thou forget me, O LORD? for ever? how long wilt thou hide thy face from me?”

David did not begin that psalm with a polished announcement that everything was wonderful.

He began with a question.

A painful question.

Yet by the end of the psalm, David expresses confidence in God's mercy and determines to sing unto the Lord.

The psalm gives us a powerful example of honest prayer.

David does not pretend his distress is nonexistent. He brings that distress before God.

And we can do the same.

If you are disappointed, say so.

If you are grieving, acknowledge it.

If you are tired, tell God.

If you do not understand something, pray honestly about that uncertainty.

Spiritual maturity does not require emotional dishonesty.

3. Stop Using Gratitude to Silence Pain

Here is something we must examine in ourselves.

Sometimes we use religious language to avoid uncomfortable conversations.

Someone shares that they are struggling, and we immediately respond:

“At least you're alive.”

“At least it wasn't worse.”

“You should be grateful.”

“Everything happens for a reason.”

We may intend to encourage them, but our words can minimize what they are experiencing.

Romans 12:15 KJV says:

“Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.”

Did you catch that?

Scripture makes room for both rejoicing and weeping.

Not every moment requires a motivational speech.

Sometimes someone needs compassion.

Sometimes they need to be heard.

Sometimes the most loving response is simply to acknowledge that what they are experiencing is difficult.

This is especially important during the holidays.

For some people, family gatherings are beautiful.

For others, they bring reminders of grief, strained relationships, financial hardship, loneliness, or painful memories.

We should never make people feel spiritually inadequate because their emotional experience does not match the atmosphere of the celebration.

4. Thankfulness Does Not Cancel the Need for Prayer

Philippians 4:6 KJV instructs believers:

“Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.”

Notice that Paul places thanksgiving and requests together.

He does not say that if you are grateful, you will never need anything.

He teaches us to bring our concerns before God prayerfully and thankfully.

You can say:

“Lord, thank You for sustaining me, and I still need wisdom.”

“Father, thank You for the people who love me, and I am still grieving someone I have lost.”

“God, thank You for providing, and I still need help managing this financial situation.”

“Lord, thank You for Your presence, and I still have questions.”

This is not contradictory faith.

It is honest dependence.

We do not need to conceal our needs beneath declarations of gratitude.

5. Practice Gratitude That Is Specific and Genuine

There is a difference between repeating a phrase and cultivating thankfulness.

Real gratitude pays attention.

It recognizes the people who helped.

It acknowledges provision.

It remembers answered prayers.

It appreciates opportunities.

It notices ordinary mercies that may otherwise be taken for granted.

But it does not demand that we rewrite our history.

You can thank God for what was good without denying what was difficult.

You can celebrate something beautiful without pretending the entire year was beautiful.

And you can be genuinely thankful without comparing your circumstances to someone who may be suffering differently.

Gratitude is not a competition over who has the most difficult story.

It is an honest acknowledgment of what we have received.

A Word for the Holiday Season

If you are going into this season with joy, enjoy it.

If you are going into it with grief, give yourself permission to acknowledge that.

If your family relationships are complicated, do not feel obligated to create an image of perfection.

And if you are hosting, leading, or encouraging others, create room for people to be honest.

A gathering becomes more meaningful when people feel welcomed rather than pressured to perform happiness.

Let us be thankful.

But let us also be truthful.

God does not need a manufactured testimony. He invites us to bring Him our whole hearts.

Reflection Questions

Where have I felt pressure to appear grateful while privately struggling?
What disappointment have I avoided acknowledging because I feared appearing unspiritual?
Have I ever minimized someone else's pain by reminding them what they should appreciate?
What specific gifts, people, or provisions can I genuinely thank God for today?
How can I practice gratitude without denying what still needs healing, prayer, or attention?

This Week's Heart Work

Create three sections in your journal.

What I Am Thankful For: Identify five specific people, experiences, or provisions you appreciate.

What Still Hurts: Honestly name something difficult you are carrying.

What I Am Bringing Before God: Write your prayer request concerning that situation.

Read Philippians 4:6 and pray through all three sections.

Do not apologize to God for being honest.

Faith Declaration

I will practice gratitude without pretending. I can acknowledge God's goodness while honestly facing life's disappointments. My thanksgiving will be genuine, my prayers will be truthful, and my heart will remain open to God's wisdom and care.

Closing Prayer

Heavenly Father, thank You for Your faithfulness and for the ways You have sustained me throughout this year.

You know every blessing I can name, and You also know every disappointment I have experienced.

Help me never confuse thanksgiving with emotional denial. Teach me to approach You honestly, bringing both my gratitude and my concerns into Your presence.

Forgive me for the moments when I have minimized another person's pain because I did not know how to respond. Give me compassion, patience, and the willingness to listen without immediately trying to correct someone's feelings.

Lord, help me recognize the ordinary blessings I sometimes overlook. Open my eyes to Your provision, the kindness of others, and the opportunities still before me.

And where I am grieving, disappointed, or uncertain, meet me with Your comfort and wisdom.

Let gratitude deepen my relationship with You rather than become a performance before people.

Teach me to rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep.

In Jesus' name, amen.

Let's Talk

Have you ever felt pressured to appear happy or grateful while privately carrying something difficult?

How have you learned to practice genuine gratitude without denying your feelings?

Share what you feel comfortable sharing in the comments. Let's have an honest conversation.

What Have You Been Calling Progress?

Tressa Ruffin

6 days ago

7 min read

Key Scripture: Haggai 1:5 KJV

“Now therefore thus saith the LORD of hosts; Consider your ways.”

Being Busy Does Not Always Mean You Are Moving Forward

Can we be honest for a moment?

Some of us have been so busy this year that we have not stopped long enough to determine whether we have actually made progress.

We have worked. We have attended meetings. We have managed households, served in ministry, cared for loved ones, handled responsibilities, and kept moving even when we were exhausted.

And because our calendars have been full, we have assumed that our lives have been fruitful.

But I want to ask you something.

What have you been calling progress?

Was it the amount of money you earned? The things you purchased? The opportunities you received? The positions you obtained? The number of people who recognized your accomplishments?

Or have you measured progress by what God has been developing within you?

There is nothing wrong with accomplishing goals, building a business, growing professionally, providing for your family, or pursuing the things God has placed before you.

But we must understand something.

Movement is not always progress, and productivity is not always spiritual maturity.

You can be moving constantly and still be moving in the wrong direction.

You can have an impressive public life while privately neglecting things God has been calling you to address.

And before this year closes, I believe we need to have a serious conversation about what genuine progress looks like.

1. God Is Calling Us to Consider Our Ways

In Haggai 1, the prophet addressed the people of Judah after their return from exile.

The rebuilding of God's temple had been neglected while the people concentrated on their own homes and concerns.

God challenged them with four powerful words:

“Consider your ways.”

He was calling them to examine their priorities.

Not simply what they were doing, but why they were doing it.

Not simply what they had accomplished, but what they had neglected.

Not simply what occupied their time, but whether their priorities reflected their responsibility toward Him.

Beloved, that is a question worth asking ourselves.

What has received the greatest amount of your attention this year?

What has received your energy?

What has received your financial resources?

What has received your emotional investment?

And what have you continued putting off?

Maybe your work has been growing, but your marriage needs attention.

Maybe your ministry activities have increased, but your personal prayer life has become inconsistent.

Maybe you have been meeting everybody else's expectations while repeatedly neglecting your own legitimate responsibilities.

Maybe you have been focused on appearing successful while privately wrestling with decisions you know need to change.

These questions are not meant to condemn us. They are meant to help us examine ourselves honestly.

God does not ask us to consider our ways so we can remain discouraged. He calls us to examine our ways so we can respond.

2. Stop Confusing Accomplishment with Transformation

Let me make this plain.

You can accomplish a great deal without allowing God to transform your character.

You can become financially successful and still be dishonest.

You can become influential and still lack humility.

You can become knowledgeable about scripture and still struggle to apply it.

You can become respected publicly while repeatedly mistreating people privately.

And you can become extremely skilled at maintaining an image while avoiding genuine accountability.

That is why accomplishments cannot become our only evidence of growth.

James 1:22 KJV says:

“But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves.”

James confronts the difference between receiving truth and practicing truth.

Knowing what scripture says does not automatically mean we are allowing scripture to shape our conduct.

Spiritual progress becomes visible in how we live.

Are you more willing to admit when you are wrong?

Are you becoming more patient?

Have you become more responsible with your words?

Are you learning to honor boundaries?

Have you become more honest about your motives?

Are you better able to hear correction without automatically becoming defensive?

Those are meaningful signs of growth.

And sometimes that progress will not earn you a certificate, promotion, public acknowledgment, or applause.

But it matters to God.

3. Sometimes Progress Looks Like Doing Something Differently

I want us to rethink how we recognize progress.

Progress may be apologizing without making excuses.

Progress may be refusing to participate in gossip.

Progress may be making an overdue doctor's appointment.

Progress may be telling the truth about a financial situation instead of pretending everything is fine.

Progress may be developing the discipline to complete something you have repeatedly abandoned.

Progress may be learning that every request does not require your yes.

For someone caring for an aging parent, progress may be recognizing the need to ask for assistance.

For a husband or wife, progress may be listening to understand rather than listening to defend.

For a single person, progress may be refusing to compromise personal values simply to avoid loneliness.

For a ministry leader, progress may be learning to correct people without humiliating them.

And for someone facing significant physical limitations, progress may involve respecting present capacity rather than constantly comparing it to what they used to be able to accomplish.

We cannot measure everybody's progress using the same yardstick.

God knows the responsibilities, challenges, abilities, and opportunities of each individual.

Our responsibility is to be faithful with what has been entrusted to us.

4. Some of Your Busyness May Be Avoidance

Here is where the conversation becomes uncomfortable.

Sometimes we stay busy because busyness keeps us from examining what is happening inside.

As long as we are working, planning, serving, producing, or responding to everybody else's needs, we do not have to sit with certain questions.

Why am I so uncomfortable with being still?

Why do I feel guilty when I rest?

Why do I keep agreeing to responsibilities that are beyond my capacity?

Why am I avoiding that conversation?

Why do I continue doing something I know is unhealthy?

Sometimes productivity becomes a place to hide.

And because being productive is generally praised, people may celebrate behavior that is actually exhausting us.

But God sees beyond our schedule.

He knows when we are working responsibly, and He knows when we are using work to avoid something that needs attention.

That is why self-examination is necessary.

5. Give God Permission to Correct Your Direction

Matthew 6:33 KJV tells us:

“But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.”

In context, Jesus was teaching His listeners not to be consumed by anxiety about material necessities. He directed them toward trust in the Father and the priority of God's kingdom.

This does not mean we abandon responsibility or expect spiritual language to replace practical work.

It means our responsibilities must be approached with the right priorities.

Before November is over, ask God to help you examine what you are pursuing.

You may discover that some commitments need adjustment.

Some responsibilities need greater attention.

Some habits need correction.

Some goals need realistic timelines.

And some things need to be released because they no longer serve the purpose they once did.

Do not be afraid of this examination.

Correction is not the enemy of progress.

Sometimes the greatest progress you make is admitting that the direction you have been traveling needs to change.

A Final Thought: What Will You Measure Differently?

Before you congratulate yourself for everything you have completed this year, take time to examine

what your accomplishments have produced in you.

Have they deepened your integrity?

Strengthened your relationships?

Improved your stewardship?

Developed your discipline?

Encouraged your obedience?

Helped you become more responsible?

And where the answer is no, be willing to make changes.

The goal is not to finish the year looking impressive.

The goal is to live faithfully before God.

Reflection Questions

What have I been using to determine whether I am making progress?
Which accomplishments have genuinely strengthened my character, relationships, or obedience?
Where have I allowed busyness to distract me from an important responsibility?
What has God been bringing to my attention that I continue postponing?
What needs to change in how I measure progress moving forward?

This Week's Heart Work

Create two columns in your journal.

Column One: What I Accomplished

Write down five things you invested significant time or energy into this year.

Column Two: What It Produced

Beside each accomplishment, honestly identify whether it strengthened your spiritual maturity, responsibilities, relationships, character, or long-term well-being.

Then identify one adjustment you will begin making this week.

Do not stop at recognizing the problem. Put your conclusion into action.

Faith Declaration

I will no longer measure my life by busyness, recognition, or accomplishments alone. I will consider my ways before God, examine my priorities, remain accountable, and pursue progress that reflects His truth. I am committed to becoming faithful in both what I do and who I am.

Closing Prayer

Father, in the name of Jesus, thank You for carrying me through this year and giving me opportunities to work, serve, learn, and grow.

Today I invite You to examine my priorities. Show me where I have confused activity with progress and accomplishments with maturity. Reveal any areas where I have been operating from fear, comparison, pride, avoidance, or the need to be recognized.

Help me recognize the progress that may not be visible to others. Teach me to celebrate genuine growth without making my achievements the foundation of my identity.

Where correction is necessary, give me humility to receive it. Where responsibilities have been neglected, give me courage to address them. Where my expectations have been unrealistic, give me wisdom to adjust them.

Lord, help me become more intentional with my time, words, relationships, resources, and decisions.

Let the evidence of my growth be more than what I accomplish. Let it also be reflected in how I love, serve, obey, and represent You.

In Jesus' name, amen.

Let's Talk

What is one thing you now recognize as genuine progress that you may have overlooked because it did not come with recognition or applause?

Drop a comment below. I would love to hear your perspective, and your response may encourage another reader to recognize growth in their own life.